In the past year, I quit drinking, turned 40, got fired and started my own business.
LET’S BEGIN WITH THE QUIT DRINKING PART FIRST
My unhealthy relationship with wine started in my mid-20s and escalated when my mom got sick with Alzheimer’s in 2013.
I. Loved. Drinking.
Whether it was good news, bad news or no news, I found an excuse for happy hours nearly every night of the week. It became a ritual to meet friends after five for a few glasses of pinot and an appetizer. It also helped me cope with my mother’s disease (or so I thought) because it erased the worry and grief, if only temporarily.
I became dependent on wine to have a good time, unwind, delete the day — only to wake up the next day hungover and drenched in panic. Then I’d do it all over again because somehow not drinking felt like a foreign concept.
Eventually, I started to really dislike myself. I wasn’t being a good enough caregiver, girlfriend, employee or friend. Most importantly, I wasn’t being good enough to myself.
On August 13, 2018, I quit. Full of self-hatred and shame at the time, I stopped and haven’t turned back. Although I really, really miss “rose all day,” ending the one habit I thought was helping me cope ended up fueling 11…
